Unsaid words...

He furiously told her,“Let’s even the score. You hurt me a lot of times I have even lost count.” She thought it was true love and concrete friendship but all he wanted was to avenge the pain of his broken heart. For her friendship was, never having to say goodbye. For him? It did not matter, he had already said goodbye.  - Samanah. Rizvi

"People change, everything and everyone around us change. Change is the only constant thing." I said to myself. But what hurt me the most was, 'expectations'.  My people turned out to be the ones, they said they would never be. Now I look back and I think I need to modify myself too because,"Change is the only constant thing."             - Samanah.Rizvi

He is her best friend. She is his best friend. She has a habit of sharing everything with him. He wants to tell her all, but fails always.  Their friends and family know that they are inseparable. Level of transparency according to her is 100%. Level of transparency according to him- " something’s and some secrets are better left unsaid." - Samanah. Rizvi

He is not insecure, he just cannot let anyone love her more than him. People call it insecurity and he has been told about the same. He keeps saying-"I want to be the reason she smiles, the reason behind her stomach aching with all that laughing, the reason why she loves life and the only man after her father who she has loved so much. If this is insecurity so be it." But for him its just pure and unconditional love.  - Samanah. Rizvi

Cheating in a relationship is one thing no one can forgive or forget. Once the trust is broken nothing can fix it. So what do you do when you realize that the person you were truly, madly, deeply in love with is having a gala time with other girls? Will you leave him? Will you forgive him and let him break your trust again? What exactly does Kiara do when she  realizes  that the love of her life is being shared? ‘I think he is kind of cheating on you!’ said Nikita while setting her hair. She was having an all-girls night out with her girlfriends to celebrate the long weekend off. Kiara jokingly asked, ‘What do you mean kind of? 500ml, 500gms or 50kgs of cheating?’ If you think my boyfriend is cheating on me then there is just a yes or no! There is no “kind-of”. Anyway, what makes you think so?’ Nikita was all set for this question and wanted to answer it for a long time now. “I had seen him getting cozy with another girl at a club where he would never expect to find yo...

Her kids were her life, she was very possessive about them. During her separation she fought the whole world for their custody. She would go to any extent to keep them happy.  Her kids only knew that alcohol had completely taken over her and it was more possessive to let go. She lost this case.                                                                 - Samanah. Rizvi

Heard of the ant story? The same ant which kept trying to climb the mountain but kept falling down, the same ant who took it up as a cha llenge and did actually succeed. As kids we were taught the moral of the story, ‘Try  try  till you succeed’.  I forgot about  this story and Anu reminded me about it.  It was very easy for us to remember and jot down the moral of each story told to us. Somewhere between these stories I personally lost myself. I started living a fictitious life. It was easy for me, I was a so called writer. Whenever anyone asks me about my life now, I always tell them, “It’s messed up”. I realized today that this is my mess. I created this huge Frankenstein out of this mess.  When I wrote my first story , I created Kiara. She was an imaginary girl who was living the life I wanted to. She  was a girl who was in love or rather who loved being in love. She was finding her perfect man. And she kept falling for the imperfect guy called Kab...

Today a friend asked me,"why don't you write anymore?" The question actually startled me because once upon a time I had so much to write. I wanted everyone to read my stories. Today even if I want to write I don't have a story to tell. I don't have the right words to describe how life has become so complicated. The words that I used to write have suddenly faded. I want to describe a zillion of things.  There comes a time when you want to write but life doesn't give you a chance. It feels like you have a pen but no ink, a paper but there is no space, a lifetime of stories but no words. I am just trying to fight back and be the same person who wants to talk but nobody wants to hear her out, the same person who chose to write and communicate rather then using the wrong words at the wrong time. A person with a few unsaid words, A person with a few unsaid sentences, A person with a few untold stories... - Samanah. Rizvi

She smiled at Nikita and said, 'I don't need a guy, it's ok if he doesn't like me!' A neon green colour t-shirt caught Nikita's eye and while searching for her size she replied back saying,' And it doesn't matter to you that you have been single since such a long time now? It's been what 2 years now since you and Mark broke up? And the fact that the relationship lasted only for 6 days?' Kiara just smiled at her and got busy looking around the shop for the new summer collection. Kiara adjusted her big soda glasses and picked up a floral long sleeveless dress, the ones that these tall models wear and pose on beautiful locations. She took a closer look and imagined herself in it. The imagination was perfect but she knew the reality would be the complete opposite. 'Don't just stand there and stare at it, go try it on!' Without much thinking she just walked into a trial room. After adjusting the dress Kiara stood there just staring at hers...

It was now not awkward for her to meet him and his new found love. That didn't mean that she had moved on in life. She loved him and would always love him. Because for her this was her first and her last attempt at falling in love with someone so deeply. 

She met her husband’s kid. She was betraying him, her deceits were going to break this relationship but it was nothing as compared to the 4 year old truth her husband was hiding from her. The only difference was he lied to have fun and never own up and she lied to safeguard his truth.                                                                                                   -Samanah. Rizvi

He now waits to catch a glimpse of his kids. He waits to see what have they grown up to be. He lost his title of a father and lost a few precious things while searching for fame. A second chance he doesn't deserve, a glimpse is not what he is going to get.                                                                 - Samanah. Rizvi

A small walk down the corniche made me think about life in general the only thing I could figure out was that I seriously don’t understand life! It is so complicated. So very complex. Just when you think that life is going to perfect from now on, someone comes along and changes your plans for you completely. Life was never simple and never will be I understand but the only thought that wanders in my head quite often is that why do we plan out our life when God, destiny, other people etc. etc. are going to change it for you? Why do we fall in love when life is going to end for one of the two? Why do we get close to someone when they are eventually going to leave us? Why do we run away from these questions? The fact is that we are running away from the responsibilities, I shouldn't be talking on behalf of everyone but reading everyone has made me jump to this conclusion. We don’t know what life has in store for us. Each minute is a surprise. Each minute a big shock. Each minute a...

A lot of people have asked me about the existence of Kiara. Who is Kiara? Many have also accused me of hiding behind Kiara and writing fictional stories based on my life. But trust me if you have read all the posts on my blog, I cannot fall in love so many times. So the question still remains, who is Kiara?  Kiara is just a simple girl, Kiara is an imperfect daughter, she is a perfect sister she is also a crazy friend. Kiara is a girl who wants to fall in love, she wants to feel what it is to feel special and to be loved. She waits for love every day and hopes that her guy is using the right maps to get to her. She sees a million dreams and knows it’s practically impossible to fulfill all but she is trying to get there. She is a girl who loves smiling, she is a girl who loves spreading happiness. There is a little of Kiara in all of us. She knows she’s stuck in the most stupid situations but she enjoys every minute of it. She has her heartbreaks, she has been hurt by people ...

How do you tell your boyfriend that you are not in love with him? How do you tell him that maybe you were never committed or never felt like you were in love? How do you not make it sound mean? How do you not make it sound like he was the one who told you to give it a shot and he completely missed that shot? How would you handle the situation? Would you let go of him or try falling in love? Soft-toys, chocolates, flowers, romantic drives, a hand in hand walk in the rain. All these had never been a part of Kiara’s life. Instead of being too crazy in love, she has just been more practical. Is that the reason that she had not felt love? Is this the reason she wanted someone to sweep her off her feet rather than repeating the same ideas to charm her? Kiara had always been anti-love not because she had never fallen for someone, but because she never felt what it is to be in love. She was in a relationship with Arjun not because she was in love with him but for the reason t...

You were quiet when I wrote for the world, You were quiet when there were many inspirations for me but you. I didn't write for you because I didn't have the right words to put in place, I didn't write for you because I though you deserved more than my utterance. I haven't told you much lately because I have been too busy. I haven't said a deserving thanks to you ever since you have started being my support. I haven't told you that you are worth more than what I can ever describe.  To describe you as a person what can I say? I know you can smile all day and hide everything behind it, I know you will never confess if you are hurt, I know you will never tell me what you feel like doing because you try finding happiness in everything.  I know you are quite a mystery for a reason.  You think I hardly know you or understand you,  But if I wouldn't know you, I wouldn't write. My hand would stop at certain times, my words would jumble.  I am writing for you even...

The first time I saw him, he seemed different from others. That smile, those eyes spoke more than his words. His silence was golden,his words were more precious. He was different from others because his thoughts were different. He was different because he saw the world differently. He laughed at the world, he laughed at their thinking. He respected all, he respected everyone's principles. To describe his smile what can I say?  He smiled looking at people, he smiled at the world,he smiled at every situation. He never complains about his life, he understands people and sometimes expects the same because the first time I saw him, he seemed different from others.

I know I haven't expressed my emotions in front of you.  I know you think I am stone-hearted(maybe I am :P )  Just wanted to tell you it's a very big moment for our family that you are going to study medicine.  We have been together and plotted a lot of kiddish crimes together. We have cycled all day, skated on rough poor Indian roads.  We have invited people for fun and fairs and stupid exhibitions together and seen watched movies with the profit earned.  We have hid and guarded our secrets well (hope you keep them safe forever).  We have got permissions for each other and made back up stories. We have watched gossip girl, castle, CSI, movie marathons, bigg boss, and South Indian dubbed movies together. We have saved each other's skin from our mother's beatings. You have been my younger brother, my sister, my best friend, my crime partner, my elder brother, my wwe tag team partner, and my playstation player 2... I'll miss you because I have seen you grown ...

While the sunset today... I tried making a conversation with you, You heard me but you didn't carefully listen. I told you about al the times when I needed you the most, I kept jogging my memory and I noticed myself all alone standing and fighting the world. While you kept hearing I didn't expect you listen to your faults because it was me who was wrong. I was wrong, I was wrong when I thought you were the only person I could rely on, I was wrong when I thought you were my guardian angel, I was wrong because you were my life, I was wrong because I thought I actually meant the same to you. I was wrong because you made me believe the sun would set and get another brighter day for me. I was wrong because you proved me wrong each day.  I was wrong because the sun had set and you turned around and smiled at me, I smiled at you and realised that I had gone unheard again... -Samanah. Rizvi

A story that I was stuck on, A story that made me think every moment. Why haven’t I completed it yet, when I had known the end throughout? Why have I manipulated the story, when I knew the truth after all? Why didn't I want the readers to read what the truth was? I had too many questions for which I didn't have answers. I was confused and lost. For the first time I had to write what the readers wanted to read. For the first time I hid the truth. For the first time I completed a story that was never meant to have a happy ending. A story that I wrote for the people who believed in happy endings.   -Samanah. Rizvi