Unsaid words...

A lot of people have asked me about the existence of Kiara. Who is Kiara? Many have also accused me of hiding behind Kiara and writing fictional stories based on my life. But trust me if you have read all the posts on my blog, I cannot fall in love so many times. So the question still remains, who is Kiara?  Kiara is just a simple girl, Kiara is an imperfect daughter, she is a perfect sister she is also a crazy friend. Kiara is a girl who wants to fall in love, she wants to feel what it is to feel special and to be loved. She waits for love every day and hopes that her guy is using the right maps to get to her. She sees a million dreams and knows it’s practically impossible to fulfill all but she is trying to get there. She is a girl who loves smiling, she is a girl who loves spreading happiness. There is a little of Kiara in all of us. She knows she’s stuck in the most stupid situations but she enjoys every minute of it. She has her heartbreaks, she has been hurt by people ...

How do you tell your boyfriend that you are not in love with him? How do you tell him that maybe you were never committed or never felt like you were in love? How do you not make it sound mean? How do you not make it sound like he was the one who told you to give it a shot and he completely missed that shot? How would you handle the situation? Would you let go of him or try falling in love? Soft-toys, chocolates, flowers, romantic drives, a hand in hand walk in the rain. All these had never been a part of Kiara’s life. Instead of being too crazy in love, she has just been more practical. Is that the reason that she had not felt love? Is this the reason she wanted someone to sweep her off her feet rather than repeating the same ideas to charm her? Kiara had always been anti-love not because she had never fallen for someone, but because she never felt what it is to be in love. She was in a relationship with Arjun not because she was in love with him but for the reason t...

You were quiet when I wrote for the world, You were quiet when there were many inspirations for me but you. I didn't write for you because I didn't have the right words to put in place, I didn't write for you because I though you deserved more than my utterance. I haven't told you much lately because I have been too busy. I haven't said a deserving thanks to you ever since you have started being my support. I haven't told you that you are worth more than what I can ever describe.  To describe you as a person what can I say? I know you can smile all day and hide everything behind it, I know you will never confess if you are hurt, I know you will never tell me what you feel like doing because you try finding happiness in everything.  I know you are quite a mystery for a reason.  You think I hardly know you or understand you,  But if I wouldn't know you, I wouldn't write. My hand would stop at certain times, my words would jumble.  I am writing for you even...

The first time I saw him, he seemed different from others. That smile, those eyes spoke more than his words. His silence was golden,his words were more precious. He was different from others because his thoughts were different. He was different because he saw the world differently. He laughed at the world, he laughed at their thinking. He respected all, he respected everyone's principles. To describe his smile what can I say?  He smiled looking at people, he smiled at the world,he smiled at every situation. He never complains about his life, he understands people and sometimes expects the same because the first time I saw him, he seemed different from others.

I know I haven't expressed my emotions in front of you.  I know you think I am stone-hearted(maybe I am :P )  Just wanted to tell you it's a very big moment for our family that you are going to study medicine.  We have been together and plotted a lot of kiddish crimes together. We have cycled all day, skated on rough poor Indian roads.  We have invited people for fun and fairs and stupid exhibitions together and seen watched movies with the profit earned.  We have hid and guarded our secrets well (hope you keep them safe forever).  We have got permissions for each other and made back up stories. We have watched gossip girl, castle, CSI, movie marathons, bigg boss, and South Indian dubbed movies together. We have saved each other's skin from our mother's beatings. You have been my younger brother, my sister, my best friend, my crime partner, my elder brother, my wwe tag team partner, and my playstation player 2... I'll miss you because I have seen you grown ...

While the sunset today... I tried making a conversation with you, You heard me but you didn't carefully listen. I told you about al the times when I needed you the most, I kept jogging my memory and I noticed myself all alone standing and fighting the world. While you kept hearing I didn't expect you listen to your faults because it was me who was wrong. I was wrong, I was wrong when I thought you were the only person I could rely on, I was wrong when I thought you were my guardian angel, I was wrong because you were my life, I was wrong because I thought I actually meant the same to you. I was wrong because you made me believe the sun would set and get another brighter day for me. I was wrong because you proved me wrong each day.  I was wrong because the sun had set and you turned around and smiled at me, I smiled at you and realised that I had gone unheard again... -Samanah. Rizvi

A story that I was stuck on, A story that made me think every moment. Why haven’t I completed it yet, when I had known the end throughout? Why have I manipulated the story, when I knew the truth after all? Why didn't I want the readers to read what the truth was? I had too many questions for which I didn't have answers. I was confused and lost. For the first time I had to write what the readers wanted to read. For the first time I hid the truth. For the first time I completed a story that was never meant to have a happy ending. A story that I wrote for the people who believed in happy endings.   -Samanah. Rizvi

It's funny how someone who gave you so many memories isn't with you to relive them together It's funny how our lives and priorities changed. It's funny how we thought we would stay forever The path that we chose turned out to be different, We walked together but changed our directions. The future seemed so bright for us, Life seemed so perfect for us. Every morning had better plans for us, Every night ended like a fairytale. The sun shone brightly, The moon hid between the clouds perfectly.  Life was beautiful when we were together.  Life could have been better if we stayed together, The truth is that life won't be the same without you, But the truth is life won't give me reasons to frown anymore. I will find the beauty in life without you, I will make the sun shine brightly at me, I will fall in love with the moonlight again, I will walk this path that we promised to walk together. I will laugh at our plans, at our memories... I promise I will survive.  -Samana...

That polka dots shirt was not suiting him at all. It was a challenge for him to walk the ramp wearing that print. He seemed nervous. He wanted his best walk today. To everyone’s surprise Kabir walked in style, I was in love with him even if he had to wear a polka dots shirt. -Samanah. Rizvi

The crevices on the road remind me about the cracks in my life. They remind me of the many dark gaps I had left unfilled. It reminded me how I left everything behind and how those crevices affected my life. I am now leaving those unfilled crevices; I am now walking away from my past. -Samanah. Rizvi

And I wondered why fish fingers were called “fish fingers”. Was it to tease the fishes for not being gifted with fingers? Or just making people order fish fingers to actually see if they were served with them? Funny how we got fooled with a tricky name, funny how I was never served fish fingers.                                                     -Samanah. Rizvi                                                                

When there is so much to write, why is your page blank today? When you want to empty your head, why aren't your finger typing those words today? When you want to tell the world how you feel, why are you so quiet today? Today everything seems different, The words you use are no longer yours, The language you speak is not known to you, The path you have chosen is not chosen by you. Today you want to write but the world won't read, Today you will write but your page will remain blank. -Samanah. Rizvi 28th July 2013 22:22 p.m

Kabir and Kiara were laughing at each other during their wedding. He kept teasing her. She kept blushing away. He taunted saying, “From shorts to a wedding dress! Oh my God Kiara! Such a drastic change.” Kiara kept blushing and occasionally nudging Kabir to stop with his teasing. It was a big day for the two of them. It was something that they never imagined would happen to them. The two of them were childhood friends. Childhood friends and not childhood lovers. It was a different and a funny day for them because they had always been the best of friends. Their family knew each other because of them. It was a perfect story but definitely not a love story. Kabir and Kiara grew up together. They stayed in the same neighbourhood. They went to different schools, had different set of friends but were inseparable when they met in the evenings. Kiara had always been a tomboy. It was an advantage for Kabir because that way he had company of a girl who shared nearly the same interest as hi...

He was so attached with Alpy the lamb. She meant everything to him. He was proud that he covered her up whenever she needed him. He couldn’t bear the pain she went through when he was separated from her. Wool now lives with Shelly, covering her up when she feels warm. Wool’s incomplete love story.                                                                                    -Samanah. Rizvi

This life is too small to stand n frown,   At least my life is worth smiling at!!   This life is too small to think about the past,   At least I keep forgetting about the Bad times I had!   This life is too small to think about what I don’t have,   At least I am happy with whatever I have!   This life is too small to think about what I lost,   At least I am happy that I Won!   This life is too small to think about WHY ME?   At least I always said TRY ME!   This life is too small to think about your enemies;   At least I loved them for making me their centre of attraction!   This life is too small to think about how small is it?   At least I know how much I want to live                                       Samanah.Rizvi ...

A perfect life Kiara didn’t have permanent plans. She made a few commitments in her childhood which were now obligatory for her. If not obligatory, she just didn’t want to break people’s hearts with those false promises. In her innocence she always told her family and friends that she wants to become a doctor. She was obviously unknown to the fact that she will have to bury her head in those fat huge books. Since the decision was made she decided to give it a try. Kiara was a beautiful young girl. She was perfectly tall and had a very pretty smile. Her dimples added the final touch to that smile. If she would ever become a dentist she would be the most beautiful one. Kiara never thought of her own dreams. Her family made decisions for her based on her innocent statements. They did support her with everything they could. She was just a gorgeous girl next door trying to fulfil dreams for her family and somewhere for herself. She was a girl who wanted to fall in love with the perfect guy ...

She was not expressive with her words But her silence spoke a million words She had a few friends She had a few favorites Life was always filled with surprises for her Surprises that left her stunned, surprises that made her what she is. Her past was on the grey side Her past was the fault she didn't want to live the present She tried moving on but in vain, Someone in her life wants her to move out of that pain. Someone in her life wants to see her smile again, Someone in her life wants her to laugh her heart out. Someone wants her to be expressive with her words Someone wants to hear her rather than her silence. Someone wants her to be happy because somewhere someone is sitting afar waiting for her to smile again.

Secrets I walk this empty street thinking about the secrets I keep As I walk ahead I turn around to see what’s left behind? Is it worth a smile? Is it worth anyone’s time? I made mistakes, hurt a lot of people Not more than the scars they gave Not more than the hearts they broke I walk this Empty Street, thinking about the people with me Are they worth the efforts I take? Are they the ones I really need? I walk this empty street thinking about this beautiful dream In which there are happier people; brighter days and no secrets to keep…                                                                             -Samanah. Rizvi

In this world of hatred and jealousy there is a girl who sits and smiles away to glory She has her reasons, she has a story In this world of broken hearts and faded memories, She sits and mends those hearts and clears their vision to relive those memories. In this world of troubled pasts and ugly family histories, She tells people to look ahead because everyone is fighting their own battle. She lives for the people, she lives to see them smile.  She lives because this is just one time she can do everything right She lives because she knows that she will spread her light and shine bright In this world of hatred and jealousy there is a girl who sits and smiles...                                    - Samanah. Rizvi                                        18th July 2013         ...

         It's not a story... School and childhood crushes are always termed as infatuations by people. But when the same couple gets married they are called childhood lovers. No doubt most of the love stories are infatuations and Bollywood’s fault but no one knows what might just work out. Some people are fond of love since they actually watch a few movies or are around such love-struck folks. And then there are people like me (or I might be the only one) who are commitment phobic. I don’t really have the guts to tell my parents that I am in love or I like someone, not that my parents haven’t approved of anything as such or they will honour kill me but I just can’t. Commitments require true dedication and true love. True love has never hit me maybe. They say that heartbreaks turn people into artists or just sad lovers. A heartbreak did make me write my first story but it wasn’t a love story. It wasn’t a story. His name was Shoeb Kapoor.  He was li...

I Do... It was a very horrible day for my mother to fix a meeting to meet a guy for an arrange marriage proposal. As I was looking outside my window pane and cursing the heavy rains, my mother entered the room with a big lot of Indian wear. “You better select a good dress and look like Madhuri Dixit, family oriented guys love her. Please don’t wear your torn jeans and act like that party girl Deepeeka Padukone.” I laughed at my mother’s innocence and the way she elaborated on “Deepeeka”. I was in a very confused and dull state. Arrange marriage for me was like the last resort because I thought it was meant for people who had no hope of falling in love. This meeting was more like a blind date. I had never met this Kabir guy and I so knew that the better the name the lousier the person would be. The better he sounds on the phone the more idiotic he would look. Looks were never criteria for me but a person should be smart and decent enough to carry himself. I picked up a dress ran...

                                    THE GIRL WHO WANTED TO LIVE Why would anyone get addicted to something that gives you a temporary feeling of numbness and happiness? Why are these people not tough enough to face the world without a drug addiction? Kiara’s best friend was dealing with a drug addiction. It seemed normal for everyone but her. At first it was a big thing for her because even the word smoking was a no-no for her.  She was trying to figure out the new “high-ways” of this age. She knew what was right what was wrong and she obviously knew how her friend was hell bent upon ruining her life. Kiara wanted to try everything in life. She had tried smoking and it was quite evident that she didn’t like it. She wanted to help her friend out. Her friend Alisha was a very unique and talented girl. She was beautiful. She had this charm in her that attracted people towards her. ...

Not so perfect People always crib about their life because of their expectations from it. Why were you expecting something from it? Why can’t we just give everything a shot without expecting a payback on time? A little delay leads to the famous dialogue, “I don’t believe in God because he is too busy making others happy.” Kiara tried keeping everyone happy in her life. If things didn't work out her sister or brother she would blame herself for being irresponsible. She tried keeping her parents happy. She did all she could. She did her best with education, people, love, friends, career… she still wasn't happy with the outcomes. Because she was still not employed, she was still not a perfect sister or a perfect daughter. She had her expectations from life. Because she did her masters she wanted the best job, because she gave good presentations in college she wanted a good salary package. It  wasn't  too much that she was asking for. It was obvious she was getting ag...